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McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Expert Help for Your Fantasy Baseball Franchise
Wish I had had this advice as I was planing this year’s draft.
The Season’s Over
It was a long hard season for some. My team performed about as expected and ended up in 2nd place. They ended up with 71.5 points out of a possible 100. My target all along was to average about 7 points in each category, and I did well in that regard with 6, 8, 7, 9, 6.5, 9, 4, 9, 8, 5. Unfortunately, the Bud Chuggers averaged 8 points per category and took the trophy.
Hard to believe that after 26 weeks, I actually tied someone for Stolen Bases, with 123. 36.5 hitting, 35 pitching points, a good balance.
Week 14 Numbers
Not much changed for me this week. I stayed the same except for getting ahead of saves and dropping out of a tie in K’s. (Giving the Budchuggers that vitally needed half point so they could finish the week an even ten points ahead.)
| League/RC/Pts | HR | R | RBI | AVG | SB | W | S | K | ERA | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| LEAGUE AVG | 11.0 | 45.1 | 45.2 | 0.297 | 4.4 | 3.2 | 2.1 | 37.2 | 5.20 | 1.51 |
| ROCKY ONES | 10 | 46 | 44 | 0.321 | 6 | 5 | 2 | 41 | 5.66 | 1.42 |
| POINTS | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 4 | 7 | 8 | 5 |
All- Star Break Standings
Whoever is in first place in the UBL at the All-Star break gets 10% of the total pot distributed at the end of the season. So, it doesn’t really matter that you are riding high in first place for the previous 10 weeks, if you aren’t in first place this week.
| Team Name | HR | R | RBI | AVG | SB | W | SV | SO | ERA | WHIP | TOTAL | +/- |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Budchuggers | 10 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 2 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 82 | 2 |
| Rocky Coloradans | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 4 | 7 | 8 | 5 | 72 | 0.5 |
| Pork Pirates | 6 | 7 | 7 | 4 | 1 | 10 | 3 | 10 | 7 | 6 | 61 | 0.5 |
| Dingleberries | 9 | 4 | 6 | 1 | 8 | 1 | 10 | 1 | 10 | 10 | 60 | -3 |
| Boston Ballbusters | 5 | 5.5 | 2 | 5 | 7 | 3.5 | 2 | 9 | 5 | 8 | 52 | 6.5 |
| Indians | 3 | 5.5 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 5 | 5.5 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 50 | -3 |
| Shamu Whales | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 49 | 0 |
| GANYFs | 1 | 2 | 5 | 10 | 3 | 7 | 9 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 47 | -4.5 |
| Rangers | 4 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 10 | 3.5 | 5.5 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 44 | 6 |
| Homestead Grays | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 8 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 33 | -5 |
Week 13 numbers
Things are looking bleak for the home team. The All-Star break is next week and whoever is leading at the break gets a portion of the pot. Slowly, slowly…
Only 3 HR for the week, after 16 the week before! What a game.
| League/RC/Pts | HR | R | RBI | AVG | SB | W | S | K | ERA | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| LEAGUE AVG | 7.9 | 35.1 | 32.3 | 0.260 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 1.7 | 32.8 | 4.00 | 1.23 |
| ROCKY ONES | 3 | 25 | 28 | 0.197 | 4 | 4 | 2 | 35 | 3.62 | 1.12 |
| POINTS | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 3 | 7.5 | 8 | 5 |
Week 13 League stats
Week 13
| Team Name | HR | R | RBI | AVG | SB | W | SV | SO | ERA | WHIP | TOTAL | +/- |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Budchuggers | 9 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 2 | 7.5 | 7 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 80 | 4 |
| Rocky Coloradans | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 3 | 7.5 | 8 | 5 | 71.5 | -6.5 |
| Dingleberries | 10 | 5 | 6.5 | 1 | 8 | 1.5 | 10 | 1 | 10 | 10 | 63 | 0 |
| Pork Pirates | 6 | 7 | 6.5 | 4 | 1 | 10 | 4 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 60.5 | 0.5 |
| Indians | 4 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 53 | 1.5 |
| GANYFs | 1 | 4 | 5 | 10 | 3 | 7.5 | 9 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 51.5 | -0.5 |
| Shamu Whales | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 5 | 6 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 49 | 1 |
| Boston Ballbusters | 5 | 2.5 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 4 | 2 | 10 | 5 | 8 | 45.5 | 1.5 |
| Homestead Grays | 2 | 2.5 | 4 | 7 | 4 | 1.5 | 8 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 38 | 3 |
| Rangers | 3 | 1 | 2 | 5 | 10 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 38 | -4.5 |
74.5
Well, the Budchuggers have overtaken me in Runs and RBIs and tied me in HR. Slowly, I sink out of the top. -3.5 points. (Actually, both the Budchuggers and the Shamu passed me in RBI so I lost 2 points in that category.)
In addition my relief crew seems to have gone away. One is on compassionate leave and the other just joined the DL; just as a precaution, you understand. And Gary Sheffield has been suspended for a couple of games for throwing his helmet on the ground. Slowly, slowly, slowly…
76.5
Daily notes on your players from rototimes.com 06.30 Kenny Rogers got into a tussle with a cameraman before yesterday’s game and was seen knocking the camera to the ground and kicking it. It’s possible he could face disciplinary action, according to the Star-Telegram …
Kenny’s negotiating skills are without equal, even with a broken hand. Give that man a contract.
On the down side, The ‘chuggers and The Rocky Ones are now tied for first place. The gradual, gentle erosion of the rocky team continues.
80
Daily notes on your players from rototimes.com 06.27 Kenny Rogers broke a bone at the base of his right pinkie in his non-pitching hand when he hit a water cooler in frustration in his last start on June 17th, according to the AP. He will miss at least one start, and he could miss another turn as well since it would take 10-12 days for the broken bone to heal completely …
Poor Kenny, and here he is trying to negotiate a contract extension. I had him projected for two starts this week, now he has none. Boo-hoo?
I think his last start was on the 22nd, not the 17th. And if you look at his numbers for the 22nd you may see why he is so frustrated. He only gave up 1 run in 6-1/3 innings on the 17th, that doesn’t sound very frustrating. Just think Kenny, if you gave up this fruitless pursuit of pitching in the majors, you wouldn’t get so frustrated.