We buried my father last Thursday. At the grave side, my brother Patrick (the youngest) delivered this eulogy:

 

The life of John Martin Heneghan

Early Monday morning, we lost a great husband, brother, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and friend to us all. While John had made peace with the terminal nature of his illness, the presence of four generations of family, with his wife by his side, offered him comfort and assurance in his final moments.

The life of my father, John Heneghan, cannot be described in a paragraph, a page, or even a book. His life can best be illustrated by the influence he has had on the lives of others. While he was not a man of many words, his character spoke loudly to everyone who knew him. Dad devoted his life to service, to faith, and to family.

In 1945 my father enlisted in the navy, he would eventually retire as a Commander from the Naval Reserve. This was the start of his public life. Dad worked tirelessly on behalf of others. Dad worked for a union after graduating from Iona, he also taught college courses, opened Equal Employment Opportunity Commission Offices in the South, directed civil rights activities for the Maritime Administration, and directed enforcement laws for the entire Federal Government from within the Department of Labor. Dad worked hard to improve labor conditions for workers and he challenged existing laws and practices in pursuit of equal rights for people who were discriminated against based on many factors, including race and gender. Dad brought change to the world by pushing industries and companies to recognize the inequality and the injustice of their practices. It is quite fitting that he should have passed on Labor Day. He rallied against what he believed was wrong and stood up for what he believed was right. He stayed true to who he was.

Dad led a faith-driven life as a Catholic. He shared his faith with his family not only through his career of service and social justice, but also through prayer and worship. He attended mass regularly, participated in religious study groups, and began every family meal with a prayer. Dad felt it was important for his children to learn his faith and made sacrifices to send them to Catholic schools. Not one for lip service, he was active in community service organizations and the church throughout his life. He worked with So Others May Eat, Meals on Wheels, and numerous other organizations that provided relief for the less fortunate. He continued serving until recently when he was no longer able to meet the physical demands of his service. This concern for his fellow man and devotion to God were not lost on his family.

In 1946 my father met my mother through New York’s Gaelic Society, where they attended ceilis and Irish events. Mom and Dad have been dance partners ever since. They were married for 55 years and together they raised 12 “special” children.

Meal times at home were always a big production. We would sit down, say Grace, pass the food around the table and then the conversation would begin! It was during these mealtime discussions where Dad would teach his children important life lessons:

• Form your judgment based on your own personal interactions. Do not prejudge, people or events.
• Do not have an opinion on matters you haven’t investigated thoroughly.
• You don’t need to have an opinion on everything.
• Be strong in your beliefs. Stand up against what you believe is wrong and stand up for what you believe is right.
• Always be curious—Interact with the world and the people around you.
• And lastly, enjoy life.

Often dinner was followed by an evening of games. Dad really enjoyed these times to bond with family and friends. Some of his favorite games included Poker, Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit—he never missed an opportunity to move his piece to a yellow space where he could test his knowledge in the History category.

His influence reached far beyond his children to the long branch of extended family and friends. Mom and Dad have welcomed countless family members, friends, and friends of friends into their household. Whether providing lodging for a friend or relative in need, hosting regular poker games, or entertaining family gatherings, their house truly followed the expression “céad míle fáilte”, a hundred thousand welcomes.

Dad was immensely loved, respected and admired by his family and friends. He will be greatly missed, but he will be held close in our hearts. The qualities and the virtues for which John stood will be carried with us always. He will forever be present in our words, thoughts and actions.